Healthy Marriage Matters Blog

Matters of Healthy Marriages Because Marriage Health Matters
Monday, November 19, 2018, 02:51 PM

In this post, we share another approach to help keep us from being taken out from reactions that people are having towards us. Battle Tactic #4: Recognize that reactions and behaviors are most likely coming from an emotional wound. All of us have been hurt by someone in the past. Many times, this comes out of their own wounding. (Click on title to read full post.)

Battle Tactic #4: Recognize that reactions and behaviors are most likely coming from an emotional wound.

All of us have been hurt by someone in the past, usually by someone close to us like a parent, sibling, relative, friend, co-worker, or someone in a position of authority. Some wounds are deeper than others, especially if the situation was traumatic, involving abuse of some sort. When we react to something that happens to us today, we may be actually reacting the way we do because it is similar to a past situation when we were hurt emotionally or physically. Our reaction may have little to do with what actually happens in the moment.

A key indicator is when the reaction is disproportionate to the stimulus. When we recognize that our spouse often responds out of their wounding, it helps us to become less defensive and respond differently. When we view our spouse as a wounded person (like we are), we can better handle their reactions and work though the situation. It may even help to stop and pray, “Jesus, what’s underneath my reaction here?” Listen to what the Holy Spirit reveals and respond accordingly.


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