Healthy Marriage Matters Blog

Matters of Healthy Marriages Because Marriage Health Matters
Tuesday, February 12, 2019, 02:16 PM

Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate. (Matthew 19:6) Here, Jesus states that God is responsible for bringing together a man and woman in marriage. Another way to put it is that your spouse is God’s perfect provision for you! If you live and interact with each other from that perspective, delighting in each other daily, how might it influence your perception of your spouse and how you relate to him or her? (Click on the title to read the full post.)

Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate. (Matthew 19:6)

Here, Jesus states that God is responsible for bringing together a man and woman in marriage. Another way to put it is that your spouse is God’s perfect provision for you! If you live and interact with each other from that perspective, how might it influence your perception of your spouse and how you relate to him or her?

We recently attended a marriage program that was about passion in marriage, and the focus of the talk was on delighting in each other. It caused me to reflect on whether I am taking time to delight in my wife, instead of taking for granted the woman who God has “joined together” with me. The sad reality is that I don’t delight in her very often, and I am probably more critical of her than I am supportive. It’s easy for me to focus on what is not, rather than what is, not just in my marriage. We have a good relationship with each other, but I wonder how much better it might be if I delighted in her each day.

So, what might daily delight look like?

It starts with studying and paying attention to your spouse. Look for ways that God uniquely created him or her, physically, emotionally, intellectually, spiritually, and in every other way. What sets him or her apart? What is God providing for you through him or her? What does he or she do for you, your children, family, friends, or total strangers? How has God gifted him or her?

You may need to clear away negative perceptions that have built over the years. If it’s hard for you to identify something, start small. Look for one thing each day that you can delight in and appreciate about your spouse. Maybe it’s how they dress, the care they take in preparing a meal, how dedicated they are to caring for the family, how they handled a situation, their smile, their laugh, or their compassion for others. It could be anything positive that catches your attention. Be constantly on the lookout for something new to appreciate in your spouse.

As soon as you recognize something to delight in, take the next step in verbalizing it or writing a note to affirm him or her. When you start doing this daily, even if only one time a day, you will begin to notice more and more about your spouse that you can delight in and it will draw you closer together. (And do make the effort to notice and affirm something different each day.) You will appreciate more and more the gift God has given you in your spouse!

Delighting in your spouse daily is a small step that can yield huge benefits.

 

Note: Scripture verses are from the New International Version, unless otherwise indicated.


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