Leave It At The Door

It’s been said that when we go to work we should leave our personal lives at the door, and many feel that when they go home, they should leave their work lives at the door. This is easier said than done! The fact is that what happens in our personal lives and marriage influences our work, and what happens at work influences our life at home.

A struggling marriage is a significant contributor to decreased productivity at work, especially if the person involved is in the midst of divorce. So, what can we do to minimize the impact?

First, take preventative steps to keep your marriage as healthy as possible. Schedule regular date nights. Attend marriage seminars regularly. Hang out with other married couples who share your desire to keep their marriage as healthy as possible.  If you are going through challenges that you can’t get past, seek help from a qualified counselor or marriage coach before you are at the point of no return. Look for and attend a marriage seminar, conference, or retreat to learn or be reminded of tools that can help to improve communication, reduce conflict, and draw you closer (or back) together. If you’ve offended your spouse, admit what you did was wrong and ask for forgiveness. This is probably one of the most powerful things you can do to keep your marriage healthy.

So, what about helping to minimize the impact of work on the marriage?

First, save energy for your spouse! Work takes a lot out of us, but if we can intentionally make sure that we don’t spend all of our energy on work, we’ll be able to engage when we get home. Second, set boundaries. That may mean agreeing that you will be allowed to vent or talk about work for a set amount of time (eg, 15 minutes) when you get home so that you can get it out of your system. Third, take a longer way home to allow you to time to decompress before opening the door. Finally, you may need to ask your spouse to give you some time alone when you come home, maybe 30 minutes to yourself so that you can get out of “work” mode into “home” mode. There are many other things you can do, but the key is to identify what works for you.

So, set boundaries between marriage and work that allow you to be your best in both places, and be intentional about staying within the boundaries. It’s simple, not always easy…but well worth it in the long-run!