Are you stuck in the past? Do you keep bringing up situations to your spouse that happened in the past? How is that impacting your marriage relationship? (Click on the title to read more.)
Are you stuck in the past? Do you keep bringing up situations to your spouse that happened in the past? How is that impacting your marriage relationship? Paul provides a perspective that might be helpful to consider.
But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 3:13-14)
To me, this is telling us is to let go of the past, look forward, and fix our eyes on Jesus. When we are focused on deepening our relationship with Jesus and allowing him to address issues with our spouse, we will love our spouse regardless of what happened in the past. We will have a better relationship with our spouse. Yes, our spouse may repeat his or her behaviors or do something that reminds us about a past incident, maybe even repeating it, but bringing up that situation typically just makes matters worse. It keeps you stuck in the past, keeps you from moving forward, and keeps the love of Jesus from flowing into your relationship.
The most important thing you can do for your marriage is to grow in your relationship with Jesus. Having an active and deepening relationship with Him fills you with His love, which overflows into your marriage (and other relationships). It also allows you to extend grace to your spouse, overlooking behaviors that would have consumed you in the past. You turn your spouse over to God and allow Him to change him or her, praying that your spouse’s relationship with God grows stronger. You experience peace, even if your circumstances don’t change. You have strength to persevere when challenges arise.
Don’t think this will work? I challenge you to wholeheartedly pursue Jesus (Matthew 6:33) and stop bringing up the past to your spouse. Do it for the next 30 days and see how your relationship changes.
Note: Scripture verses are from the New International Version, unless otherwise indicated.