We often say that we don’t have enough time to do certain things. In reality, it’s probably less about time and more about energy. If we are not intentional, our marriage will keep moving down the list and we won’t have the energy to keep our marriage relationship healthy. (Click the title to read the full post.)
We often say that we don’t have enough time to do certain things. In reality, it’s probably less about time and more about energy. If we are not intentional, our marriage will keep moving down the list and we won’t have the energy to keep our marriage relationship healthy.
I worked outside this weekend starting to cut down a large tree in our yard. When I came in the house at 8:30 pm, I was spent, physically exhausted. The next day, my body was feeling the effects of using muscles that I don’t typically use and so my energy level was lower than usual. I didn’t feel like doing much of anything, so it got in the way of the relationship with my wife. I had time, not energy. This got me to thinking about how I manage my energy level to allow enough energy to invest in my marriage.
How much of your energy in any given day do you reserve for your spouse?
I’ve heard people say that God’s desired order of priorities are God first, followed by marriage, family, and then vocation (work, business, ministry, etc.). We can look at our calendar and log our time to see how aligned we are with those priorities. If you’re like me, you won’t always see that order of priority in your life.
Although I’m not aware of scripture verses that directly show this order, one that indirectly speaks to priorities is when Jesus said “Haven’t you read, that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” (Matthew 19:4-6)
Jesus is clearly saying that the relationship between the husband and wife is to be a priority over the relationship with their parents. If the marriage is a higher priority than the parents, then I think God is saying that it is a very high priority.
The bottom line is this. If you say you want a better marriage, are you conserving energy (and time) to invest in it? Is the energy you are putting into it, consistent with what you say is your priority? Are you spending that energy productively with each other?
When you conserve energy for your marriage and use that energy wisely by doing things to connect and grow with each other, your marriage will become healthier, stronger, and more vibrant. As you go through your day, pay attention to and note how you are expending your energy and then identify where you might be able to cut back to save some for your spouse. Instead of being “spent” on work, kids, activities, hobbies, etc, look to make changes that will allow you to have some energy left for your most important priority under God – your marriage. You’ll be glad you did!
Note: Scripture verses are from the New International Version, unless otherwise indicated.