Monday, April 29, 2019, 01:38 PM

Unresolved issues are undercurrents working against a healthy marriage. So, it is best to handle issues when they come up or as soon as possible afterwards. Otherwise they will lead to frustration, bitterness, anger, and eventually contempt, if not addressed. Think of it as a pebble in your shoe that if you don’t remove it when you notice it, you’ll eventually have a painful sore in your foot that could lead to an infection or worse, if not addressed. (Click on the title to read the full post.)

Unresolved issues are undercurrents working against a healthy marriage. So, it is best to handle issues when they come up or as soon as possible afterwards. Otherwise they will lead to frustration, bitterness, anger, and eventually contempt, if not addressed. Think of it as a pebble in your shoe that if you don’t remove it when you notice it, you’ll eventually have a painful sore in your foot that could lead to an infection or worse, if not addressed.

Jesus said: Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift. (Matthew 5:23-24)

This passage speaks to the importance and urgency of seeking and giving forgiveness. Jesus is telling us that it is important for us to have a clear conscience before making an offering. While this is not specific to a marriage, it is about relationships. Forgiveness and reconciliation are key aspects of a healthy marriage. They are critical for a loving relationship.

Paul also speaks to the urgency of reconciliation in his letter to the Ephesians.

In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. (Ephesians 4:26-27)

Some people interpret this passage to mean that we should resolve arguments before the end of each day, before going to sleep for the night. While it would be great if we could, there are times when that is not possible. As long as one party is angry, resolution is not likely. In those cases, when a couple agrees to pause the conversation and come back to it the next day, they can usually have a more productive conversation and are more likely to resolve the conflict.

This passage absolutely speaks to the risk of unresolved anger. If anger remains between a husband and wife, it gives “the devil a foothold” by giving him access to thoughts, allowing them to run rampant. Anger interferes with love flowing between two people. Anger and love can’t exist simultaneously. When anger is unresolved, it doesn’t take long to move from a situation that caused us to be angry to disgust for the other person. That’s when the enemy to your marriage wins! But, you have a choice to keep that from happening by handling issues when they come up instead of letting them go unresolved, hoping they will somehow go away on their own.

 

Note: Scripture verses are from the New International Version, unless otherwise indicated.


No comments yet.
(*) Required fields
Copyright ©2019 Reclaiming Wholeness LLC, All Rights Reserved.