One of the most significant stressors in marriage is around finances. At its core, it is about security, or more often than not, insecurity created from financial challenges or different perspectives. (Click on the title for more.)
One spouse is a spender, while the other is a saver. One spouse likes to have a budget, while the other doesn’t. One spouse makes buying or investing decisions without consulting the other. One spouse hides money from another. One spouse is a risk taker, while the other is more conservative. In healthy marriages, the husband and wife find mutually agreed upon ways to address their differences.
I was asked recently if I had any information about entrepreneurs in marriage. I researched it last year for a presentation to family business owners and there are articles written about the challenges it presents. When one spouse has an entrepreneurial spirit (risk-taking) and the other does not (more conservative), it can cause a lot of tension in marriage. This is similar to one spouse being self-employed having an attitude that “God will provide” while the other is of the mind that a regular paycheck creates security.
There are many scenarios, but the bottom line is that, if you are a more risk-taking spouse who wants your marriage to be healthy, it is important to appreciate the perspective of your spouse and give them what they need. So, the entrepreneur may need to explain why an investment is needed or give the more conservative spouse time to process and ask questions. It may mean that the conservative spouse will need to trust the other spouse in their business knowledge and acumen, even if it is uncomfortable.
It’s also important to respect the opinion of your spouse, recognizing that God may be speaking to you through them. Sometimes their resistance, hesitation, or doubt is a warning signal. It is critical that you pray together to make key decisions and wait for God to respond, which means taking the time to listen, setting aside what you think you should do. It’s not easy to wait, but it is critical if you want to know the will of God in a matter and have confidence in your decision.