All of us wear many metaphorical “hats.” We have our work hat, spouse hat, parent hat, Christian hat, and more, depending on our responsibilities or circumstances. What about a marriage hat? (Click on the title to read about the answer.)
A client shared that when she was aware of and “wearing” her marriage hat, things were better, but when she wasn’t, there seemed to be more strain in the relationship. I took that to mean that when she was focusing on her marriage and being intentional about the relationship with her husband, she felt better about the relationship and was in a better mindset to handle challenges that came up between them.
If you know that when you are wearing that hat, your relationship is going to be much better, why not figure out a way to wear it more of the time? In Genesis 2:24, God spoke to the priority of marriage: That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. Up to that point, the parent-child relationship would have been the most important, but after marriage, the husband-wife relationship takes its place.
It is a challenge to keep the marriage as the most important relationship (aside from the relationship with God), however, when we do, not only is the marriage better, but so are many other things in life (or at least we’re in a better mindset to handle them).
Little things make a difference. Set aside a small amount of time (10-15 minutes) each day to connect with each other through meaningful conversation. Schedule a weekly date night, which doesn’t have to be a big event. Take your spouse out to lunch or go on a picnic periodically. Leave a love note for your spouse. Focus your attention completely on your spouse when he/she wants to share something important to him/her. Send a text or email telling your spouse you are thinking of him/her. Read or listen to a book on faith together and share about what it means to each other. All of these little things add up and reinforce that your spouse is important to you.
Note: All scripture verses are from the New International Version (NIV), unless otherewise noted.